workshop 3

Challenges we’re facing

overview

In this workshop, you'll explore the issues and problems members of the group are facing at the moment.

This will help you identify some needs that the Be Her Lead group could help to fulfil, and some topics that you could dig into more deeply in future sessions.

Together, you’ll explore the struggles you share and experiences you have in common from an intersectional perspective. You’ll also recognise ways that you are different, and begin to negotiate possible inequalities and conflicts.

you will need

• Speakers to play the song 'Girls Don't Always Sing About Boys' by Ego Ella May

• (Optional) printed lyrics with gap fills – download here

• Post-its

• Enough space in the room to move about

• Blank sheets of paper

• A paper shredder or waste-paper bin

check-in

Listen to Ego Ella May’s song 'Girls Don't Always Sing About Boys' together, and ask everyone what they think of the lyrics.

Hopefully, the lyrics will resonate, opening up discussion of gender expectations and limiting stereotypes, and inviting listeners to question what really matters to them, and what they want from life. Be intersectional in your discussion; the artist is a Black woman from South London – how might this affect the stereotypes and expectations that are placed on her?

If you like, you can print the lyrics sheet with gap-fills, to help the students engage with the lyrics – filling in topics as they come up in the song.

creative activity

Post-its

First, give everyone a post-it note to write down fears, worries and problems preoccupying them at the moment. You could begin by offering something you are worried about, being as vulnerable as you feel comfortable with – it could be work-related stress, or something more personal.

You can choose to keep this exercise more broadly focused if you think this will ease the group, offering sentence starters like ‘The challenges people my age are facing are…” or “At the moment, teens my age are worried about…”

Gather the post-its and stick them up on the wall or over the central table to be reflected on as a group, without singling out who wrote what. This helps with releasing the pressure of talking in front of the group and sharing personal fears. You could wander round and pick out interesting post-its together, or you could lead this by picking some out and asking if anyone would like to say more about it.

Some common themes will emerge, giving you valuable information about what struggles the group may need support with. Save these post-its to use again in Workshop 12.

We encourage you to use this exercise as a way into discussing intersecting inequities, such as race and gender, in a way that draws on what the students have brought up.

Drama exercise

Next, clear the tables and chairs so you have enough empty space in the room to do come moving-about. Ask everyone to stand in a circle with you in the centre.

In this exercise, the person in the centre makes a statement, and the rest of the group move outwards or inwards depending on how much they agree or identify with, the statement. If they agree with the statement, they come very close to the person in the centre (without invading their personal space). If they strongly disagree, they move as far away as possible – to the back wall, for example.

Begin with non-controversial, light-hearted statements like “I love Oreos”, “I can’t wait until half term”, and then move into statements that pick up on the issues from the post-its or the song in the check-in, like “I get anxious often” or “I feel like I am not valued as much because of my gender / race”. For more examples, see the discussion prompts below.

After each stage of movement, you can thought-track the students round the room, inviting them to share why they are close or far away from the centre.

Depending on the confidence and maturity of the group, you can either stay in the centre or let others have a go making the central statement.

DISCUSSION PROMPTS

Sentence starters for the post-its:

• A big worry for me/people my age is…

• A challenge I/my peers are facing is…

• I/people my age often struggle with…

Examples of central statements that could draw on the post-its:

• “I struggle with my relationship with my body”

• “School doesn’t feel safe some of the time”

• “I am under a lot of pressure at the moment”

• “In class, I speak up less than the boys”

• “I feel I don’t know enough about sex and relationships”

Reflections after the activity:

• How did it feel?

• What were the comfortable and uncomfortable moments?

• What came up that surprised you or struck you?

• What connections / differences did you notice within the group?

• How did you respond to differences as a group?

CHECK-OUT:

Give everyone a blank sheet of scrap paper and ask them to write or draw on it one of the worries or struggles they would like to let go, leave behind or move beyond. These do not need to be shared.

As a closing ritual, either:

• Take turns to put the pieces of paper through a shredder

• Rip the paper up into small pieces and put in a bin placed at the centre of the circle

How does this feel?

Acknowledge that the ritual will not get rid of the worries, but might help them imagine what being free of them might feel like. Imagining is potentially a first step towards change.

Further reading / thinking

Sharing struggles

In this workshop, we hope you will gather some valuable information about what real-world struggles the students in your group are facing. Keep a record of these as they can inform future workshops you run, and the way you adapt our resources or hold discussions. For example, if several students are experiencing body image issues, you could steer future discussions towards that topic, or devote a whole session to discussing it together.

Having said that, this workshop is not about fixing issues or offering advice, and lots of their struggles will be outside their control. So, prioritise the girls’ voices over your own and avoid diving in with advice or opinions.

Remember that having a space where your worries are listened to and recognised can be an important help in itself.

Difference & conflict

In this workshop, you create very physical representations of sameness and difference within the group, so there may be moments of discomfort and even conflict. We don’t want you to ignore or avoid these, or let them flare into arguments, but be a stable calm presence in the room willing to acknowledge differences and discomfort, and have healthy disagreements.

As Be Her Lead community, we have committed to integrating conversations about race, gender and intersecting inequities, even when they are challenging and uncomfortable. Read our commitments here. We feel that these conversations are most effective when they begin from discussions about your own lives, your particular contexts and group context, and direct experiences.

Next session, you’ll discuss the core Be Her Lead values, bravery, respect and empathy – and these are good lynchpins for thinking about healthy conflict. It’s about balancing respect for others’ views and empathy for their feelings and perspectives, with the bravery to speak your mind and be assertive.